Westcustogo Publishing House:
Intensity, Dispirit and Depression.
Intensity, Dispirit and Depression.
6/7/1996 10:34 PM
- 1 -
I have decided to authorize the keeping of a journal.
Because of the loss of Ezelda.
I really need a dual strategy, namely:
- To try and get her back, and/or
- To grow forward myself.
A. The quality of my love for her is the only way to get her back and it is excellent.
I can show it to her in several ways.
- Keep up the friendship.
- At church be very nice to her.
- Even attend to her when possible, but
- Do not be intrusive.
- Listen to her
- Be her friend
- Be her partner, her compatriot, her confidant.
- Don't be disapproving of her activities.
- Communicate with her.
- Don't make an asshole out of yourself.
- Don't show off your wounded heart on your sleeve.
- Keep up your strength. Be very confident.
- About one call per week is authorized:
around 7:30 PM on a Thursday night or earlier in week.
- Don't be too generous with my communication -
- The object is to get her to call me. Added: She wrote on 6/7/96.
- Tell her that my friendship has to be a love friendship. I hold her in special esteem.
- Tell her that I still love her. Added: "Can I give you expressions of my love?"
- Tell her that someday I want to get you back. It isn't necessary to reveal and promote the last two.
- Don't tell her about my suffering.
-- Very little if at all.
- Let her know that I'm finding strength.
- Let her know that I'm working like a beaver.
6/7/1996 Continued.
- 2 -
Keep your heart in Toastmasters?
Go to Toastmasters, except when we have lunch together.
B. Now. The second objective is to grow forward.
- Talk to other women.
- Select women to date.
- Listen to them.
- Talk longer to them.
- Show an interest in them.
- Ask them more questions.
- Talk to Shawn a lot.
- Get to know her.
- Ask her about her children.
- Study her art work, if still there.
- Ask why she stays out of church.
- Get names and telephone numbers.
- Go to things.
C. Intelligence:
- Find out more about Ezelda's relationship.
- Listen to see if there are any problems/weaknesses.
- Find out more about him.
- Don't act like a little kid.
- Ask when we will meet him.
- Be very casual about these questions.
They must seem natural.
- Don't be driven.
- Do not be intent.
- Be non chalant.
Shave tomorrow.
- Find out her schedule.
- Ask, "You must be very busy preparing?"
- Don't show hurt on her answers.
- Tell her, "I'll find somebody right for me."
- Keep her off guard about me.
- Don't let her know exactly where I'm coming from.
- Make her like me. Keep her respect. Keep her esteem.
6/7/1996 Continued.
- 3 -
- Do not talk about her with others.
D. Strategy:
- Get her to have confidence in me. It's the way to information.
- Be very discreet.
- Get her to depend on me.
Tell her I'll do windows and screens. 6/9/96.
- Joke with her.
- Humor her.
- Smile.
- Be happy.
- Ask about Casper.
- Don't call late at night.
- When she calls and she will, be very nice to her.
- Let her know that she always has my ear, my space, my interest.
- Tell her that she looks nice.
- Tell her that she seems happy.
- Be attentive about her health.
- Let her know that she can relax around me and be off her guard.
E. Remember this: I've already started. She wants to keep up a friendship.
- Try to enrich the friendship.
- Keep up it's quality.
- Stop the angry things and comments.
- Detect when you are boring her. Be discerning.
- Don't bore her.
- Don't discuss your trivials of your life.
- Get her coffee occassionally.
- Run any errand for her.
- Show her that you like her.
- Tell her that you like her. "I still like you."
- A goal is to go out to eat together, basically
- to extend and enrich communication.
- Try to have an excellent post break up relationship.
6/7/1996 Continued. Friday.
- 4 -
F. Remember: From my experience.
- I got Lizzy back in December 1979.
- I tried to get Ghost (I now call her Ghost.) back in 1981/1982, but failed.
- I did give Ghost (She still haunts me.) the shrine church hug when I found out about her engagement.
- Mary came back to me in 1979 and 1982.
- Flossie came back to me after her second divorce.
- Ghost came up to me at a dance after her second divorce, but I failed to capitalize correctly on it.
- Ann came up to me at a dance after her 1984 engagement ended, but I had lost respect for her.
- She called me when her relationship went on the rocks in 1985.
- She told me that my love was superior to all.
- Read these things over and over.
- Build up your confidence.
- Keep up your confidence.
- Tell Ezelda that she is making a terrible mistake.
No, don't tell her. Tell her that I'm a big loss to her.
G. Summary:
- Sooner or later I am going to salvage and get back one of my lost relationships.
- It may as well be this one.
- If it is there enough for her as well.
- Show her that it is. Make her want more of me.
- Do not live on false hopes This plan is not false, not hopeless.
- Evaluate progress and possibilities. Not very good today.
H. Potency:
- Keep up your sexual potency.
- Develope your staminar.
- Get back you libido.
- Tell her about it.
- Exercise
Arachnophilia 4.0,